Keep your heart open. went to the beach on the public holiday. needed to get out the house. a friend had let me down and the 'rejection syndrome' was gnawing. the only other white faces at north on this day were the surfers. i picked a spot and sat down with my packet of chilled litchies (expensive Woolies merchandise!). a few little black boys (all under age 5 i'd say) were running around where i sat down on the sand. one was bold enough to ask for a litchie (he didn't speak English but the language of signs was enough). i decided sharing was a
God thing. of course once i gave to one i could not not give to the others. and the two boys who were bold enough to ask for more were given seconds. i felt better already! the little ones soon ran off forgetting about me . then i noticed a bigger boy lying on his stomach in the sand facing me-a few feet away. he playfully looked in my direction and it seemed he was asking me for a litchie(it's here that the part about 'keeping your heart open' comes in.) part of me wanted to say 'no'. i mean this was an older child and 'begging' was 'unacceptable' behaviour. the boy was well-clothed as well. i looked into the litchie packet and said "ok, you can have the last one". i gave him the litchie and this child 'adopted' me for the next hour. his English was quite good and it turned out he was older than he looked (12). his name is Thamsanqu. and he's in grade 6 (standard 4 for those from the 'old school' system). the child continued to play and talk with me. i seemed to be his mother. watching his antics in the water (big bright smile directed at me all the while). i answered his questions . obeyed his 'instructions' not to watch where he was going to go to put the packet of litchie skins and pips in the bin. i accepted his gifts of broken mussel shells and filled bottles of sea-water. i watched over him as he ran around putting on a performance for the lone white female he'd adopted. i was worried he'd been left on the beach by an irresponsible parent and kept trying to find out who he was at the beach with. he eventually assured me he wasn't abandoned (his family was sitting away from the beach on the grass amphitheatre).
the sadness i'd been feeling had vanished by the time i left the beach. (i first walked with the boy to find his family. i was relieved when i saw/met them . [had been a bit worried that i might find a rowdy drunken bunch of adults. but the teenage girls there assured me Thamsanqu was their brother.]) i shook his hand and said good-bye.
the emotional pain i'd been feeling had lifted to an astonishing degree. i believe God ministered to me in this situation. the 'rejection syndrome-feeling' had left . and when i -finally-received a text from the friend who let me down ,asking for 'forgiveness' , i was able to let any resentment go. so God will be all we need. but we must keep our hearts open or we can miss the blessing!